again, leaving us stuck with an entire container of five spice, a bag of quinoa, three days remaining to drink our almond milk, and with vivid delusions of grandeur that leave us failing in an attempt to knock together a deconstructed Knickerbocker Glory complete with miniature panna cotta for a family meal, purely in order to use up the leftover and irritatingly costly gelatine.
So why is training no longer an option?
Well, those of us who get in early and start a career as a chef by going to college while still residing in our comfort zone, living at home, and taking an apprenticeship for half the week on half of national minimum wage, may just be the lucky few who are the exception.
For those of us who arrive late to the game, we are unfortunately destined to either work our fingers to the bone to be able to afford to take on a course at Cordon Bleu or Tante Claire or the like, or learn purely by experience.
And learning by experience sounds simple enough on paper, but it’s a seriously long game to play, and with so many establishments boasting fresh homemade food, we would be foolish to think otherwise.
However, I am here to tell you that unfortunately the places that do make their food entirely from scratch, with fresh ingredients and locally sourced products, tailored to meet the requirements of a menu lovingly designed by a chef at the helm in the kitchen, leading a team to death or glory, day in day out; those places are few and far between.
So how can a chef gain the right experience if he wishes to reach the top? Elitism shows its hand again here, as many chefs may have years and years of experience in kitchens cooking, but when faced with an AA Rosette kitchen or even a Michelin-starred kitchen, their feet won’t touch the ground.
There is a huge rift between the leagues here, on both sides of the pass. I have heard tales of chefs knocking relentlessly on kitchen back doors insisting they be allowed to enter a kitchen of prestige and tradition, in order to learn and progress.
I’ve also heard of chefs who scratch a living in London or Paris, working three jobs to be able to afford a few squalid square metres of mattress in a dingy little flat just to further their passion. But if we, in this country, intend to turn around the state of our kitchens, insisting on a living wage, and more reasonable working hours as many kitchens seem to be boasting recently, then it needs to begin at base level.
We must not complain about the availability or quality of chefs in the current industry if we are not willing to give them opportunities and train them.
I appreciate that a lot of food television has given many young apprentice chefs a false sense of security in the kitchen. I have worked with many young pastry apprentices who assumed it would be less Hell’s Kitchen and more Great British Bake Off and so would fold as rapidly and quickly as one of their half-arsed soufflés they once saw Jamie Oliver do on the TV.
People romanticise our job now, we used to just be chefs, then we passed through the age of rockstar status, and even saw the rise (and fall) of many celebrity chefs, and now it’s heavily romanticised to the point that those who can cook at home think they can cook in a kitchen and are shocked to find it’s not the same thing. I’ve had people ask me when I’m going to get myself a “real career”, as though it’s just prancing around dusting plates with icing sugar, snorting cocaine and bedding naive waitresses.
This is not our industry. It is changing. Bistronomy seems to be the current scene, and despite its distinct lack of emphasis on classic sauces, pastry technique and even chef whites, we must move with the times, even though I fear that this generation of chefs studying under the new regime in these kitchens may receive the shock of a lifetime if centuries of tradition were to come back into fashion, and suddenly no-one remembers how to make a simple roux, puff pastry, or even knows the name Escoffier at all.
It may sound extreme, but I’ve already worked under chefs that are exactly all of these horrors. Chefs are artists and hipsters now, standing at the pass in their open kitchens with their tattooed arms uncovered by their pastel coloured t-shirts, the only thing highlighting their position being the denim apron hanging round their neck just below a beard and man-bun. But for how long will this trend hold out?
We may have found ourselves riffing so inventively and unrelentingly into a trance-like gastronomic bebop style, that to trace back to our original roots would take nothing short of a revolution on both sides of the pass.
So the question on my lips is this: Can a self-taught chef survive if the tide changes and all they

know is how to microwave a portion of fish pie before seemingly artistically piping mashed potato on to the top? Or if all he knows is candied bacon bark, low’n’slow pulled pork, or if he knows no better than a basic pesto, avocado hummus, and “eggs any way” on gluten free toast (because the customer knows best)?
I am posing these questions simply out of curiosity, a willingness to learn and adapt with the current trends, participating in making the world taste that little bit better, a desire to continue with the daily 12-hour dance, balancing flavours, spinning plates, and working relentlessly in one’s own culinary vision with grace under pressure.
Any advice on the subject would be greatly appreciated.
Yours,
Chef de Partie