'Ben is gone - and the silence around mental health is killing us'

A talented chef's passing has sparked a powerful call to confront the mental health crisis in hospitality.

Ben Martin was the head baker and development chef at Wilsons Bread Shop in Redland, Bristol.

He was known for his incredible talent and dedication to his craft before sadly committing suicide at 31 after battling with his mental health.

Ben’s passing has left a hole in Wilsons heart, owners Jan Ostle and his life partner Mary Wilson are urging others to speak up and spread awareness about the ‘pandemic’ of issues affecting mental health in hospitality.

Jan said: “Ben was as close as it gets to being my right hand. We’d worked together for years, longer than anyone else I’ve worked with. And he wasn’t just reliable, he was talented, kind, loving, just a really beautiful human being. That’s what people need to know about Ben. Yes, he was a brilliant baker and chef, but more than that, he had this huge heart. He was generous and gentle and the bakery was his world.

“He wasn’t someone who worked for me, he worked with me. He built something incredible, and I was just proud to witness it, to support it. He was a friend. A really close friend. And that’s what made everything that followed so hard - because even now, I don’t quite know how to put it into words.”

The moment everything changed

One morning, Ben didn’t show up for work, Jan added: “He’d worked with me for four years, which in this industry is no small thing. People move around a lot, but Ben was constant. One Monday, he didn’t show up. No message, no call - nothing. I remember this feeling in my gut… just dread. The moment I spoke to Mary, we both knew, we knew something was seriously wrong. We didn’t even have to say it out loud. We just got in the car and went straight to his flat.

"I found him upstairs, in his bed. He’d passed away. We believe it was an overdose, but we’re still waiting for the coroner’s report. I can’t really describe what that moment was like. There are no words for it. You spend so much time with someone - we’re in this job day in, day out, and then suddenly, that person’s just gone. I didn’t think I’d ever be the one to find someone like that, but I did and I carry that every single day.”

Jan credits an established structured support programme with helping him find long-term recovery. 

He also opened up about his personal struggles with alcohol and substance abuse, explaining: “My team knows I’m a recovering addict and alcoholic. I’ve always been honest about it. I’ve tried to lead by example - to say, you can turn your life around. You can get clean. And I always thought that was enough - just being open and available, making sure people knew they could talk to me.

"But Ben’s death... it’s made me realise that sometimes, that still isn’t enough. I would’ve done anything to help him and maybe I still didn’t do enough. I thought by sharing my story, by showing that there’s another way, that would give people the strength to ask for help. But Ben didn’t, he didn’t reach out and now he’s gone and I have to live with that, but I will keep talking. I’ll keep showing up. Because there are other Bens out there, and if even one of them hears this and asks for help, then maybe it wasn’t for nothing.”

On addiction, denial, and the industry’s blind spots, he added: “Ben had a history of poor mental health, like a lot of us in this industry, and like me, he self-medicated - drugs, alcohol. But the thing with Ben was, he never presented like someone who was struggling. He wasn’t chaotic. He wasn’t late. He wasn’t aggressive or distant. He showed up every day. He supported the team. He put in the hours. He still had a laugh. It was easy to think he was coping, but he wasn’t.

"I keep going over it, wondering why I didn’t see it - but the truth is, he didn’t want us to see it. He knew I was sober. He knew that if I’d caught on, I would’ve sat him down and said, ‘You’re going to a meeting, mate.’ And maybe that’s exactly why he kept it hidden. That’s the heartbreak. That even when you have the door open - when you think you’re creating a safe space - it still might not be enough.”

The impact 

His death has sparked an important conversation that must be heard to protect workers in the industry, Jan added: “Let’s be honest about it: there’s something going wrong in our culture. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 35. That’s not a statistic, that’s a fucking crisis and a pandemic.

"It’s not just in hospitality, but our industry doesn’t help. The industry has built this macho, no-days-off, push-through-the-pain culture, and it’s killing people. Ben is gone - and the silence around mental health is killing us. People assume that because a chef wins awards or their name’s on a menu, that everything’s fine. But we know - we all know - that’s not the reality.

"The hospitality world is full of brilliant, creative, sensitive people. But no one teaches us how to look after our mental health. No one teaches us how to stop drinking or get clean or speak up when we’re falling apart. And the conversations around addiction? They barely exist. Even when people know someone is struggling, they don’t always know where to send them. And when they do know, there’s still this shame - this idea that you’ve failed. It’s nonsense, but it’s everywhere.”

If you have been affected by the issues raised in this story you can visit the Samaritans website for support here. 

written by Abi Kinsella